Freethought Nation

presented by Acharya S and Truth Be Known, online since 1995

Home Contributing Writers JH Chrestos The Humpty Dumpty Gospel

The Humpty Dumpty Gospel

E-mail Print PDF

humpty dumpty sat on a wall image gospelAnd now for a reading from the Humpty Dumpty Gospel:

HD 1:1   And you, who deny the great Humpty, (or as his friends call him "The Big Hump") shall surely perish in the fryers of hell.

HD 1:2   But ye who keep the sunny side up will know everlasting satisfaction that is only possible through The Great Hump.

HD 1:3   Born of a virgin, The Great Mother Goose, he was thus goosed into existence.

HD 1:4   For The Big Hump and the father, he who is known as The Great Cock, are one, which made for a very confused Mother Goose who was more than a bit embarrassed by the implication of a son and a lover who were the same.

HD 1:5   And he who rules the barnyard said "Thou shall ignore all embarrassing dichotomies and handle them the way all religions do...ignore them," and so saith The Big Cock.

I hope you enjoyed this reading. My new religion is Humptyism and the movement shall begin when I complete the Gospel. And, of course, the writing of the Gospel shall be attributed to one of the king's men.

JH Chrestos runs the website ChristPlagiarized.com.

Comments (5)
  • Amy  - LMAO!
    This is great! Can I start my own church, and how and where do I become an ordained minister of Humptyism? :lol:
  • josephine public  - You crack me up!
    I love Humptyism! The humor and wit is refreshing! Where can we read more?
  • chuk
    lovely website Chrestos.....good work ....PAL
  • chuk
    lovely website Chrestos.....good work ....PAL...here's mine

    http://www.freewebs.com/chuekmanacular/index.htm
  • Tulp
    OM"G" how obvious some things are :)
    Thank you!!

    Break on through to the other side!
Add comment
Your Contact Details:
Comment:
[b] [i] [u] [url] [quote] [code] [img]   
:angry::0:confused::cheer:B):evil::silly::dry::lol::kiss::D:pinch:
:(:shock::X:side::):P:unsure::woohoo::huh::whistle:;):s
:!::?::idea::arrow:
Security
Please input the anti-spam code that you can read in the image.
 
Author of this article: JH Chrestos

Show Other Articles Of This Author

Banner
Join Our Mailing List
Your Name:
Your Email Address:
Subscribe Unsubscribe

Search across all of Acharya's websites

Christ in Egypt

What people are saying about Acharya S/D.M. Murdock

"Your scholarship is relentless! ...the research conducted by D.M. Murdock concerning the myth of Jesus Christ is certainly both valuable and worthy of consideration." —Dr. Kenneth L. Feder, Professor of Archaeology, Central Connecticut State University, Frauds, Myths, and Mysteries: Science and Pseudoscience In Archaeology

"I find myself in full agreement with Acharya S/D.M. Murdock... I find it undeniable that...many, many of the epic heroes and ancient patriarchs and matriarchs of the Old Testament were personified stars, planets, and constellations..." —Dr. Robert M. Price, The Pre-Nicene New Testament

"I can recommend your work whole-heartedly!" —Dr. Robert Eisenman, James the Brother of Jesus and The New Testament Code, RobertEisenman.com

"Well-referenced, with numerous quotations from renowned Egyptologists and classical scholars, Acharya's penetrating research clearly lays out the very ancient pre-Christian basis of modern Christianity. Those who espouse Christianity beware! After digesting the evidence, you will never again view your religion in the same light." —Dr. Robert M. Schoch, Professor of Natural Science College of General Studies at Boston University; Author, Pyramid Quest, Voyages of the Pyramid Builders and Voices of the Rocks

"Acharya S deserves to be recognized as a leading researcher and an expert in the field of comparative mythology, on a par with James Frazer or Robert Graves—indeed, superior to those forerunners in the frankness of her conclusions and the volume of her evidence." —Barbara Walker, The Women's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets and Man Made God

"I've known people with triple Ph.D's who haven't come close to the scholarship in Who Was Jesus?" —Pastor David Bruce, M.Div, North Park Seminary, Chicago, HollywoodJesus.com

"Thirty years ago, when in divinity school, I might have had second thoughts about becoming an Episcopal priest if a book like D. M. Murdock's Who Was Jesus? had been available to me." —Bob Semes, Retired university professor of History and Religion, Founder and Executive Director of The Jefferson Center

"In addition to presenting in Suns of God the troubling history of religious wars in an easily followed narrative, Acharya goes a step further, explaining as only she can how a once-simplistic idea has been carried into our modern world with terrible and nearly unimaginable results." —Rev. Dr. W. Sumner Davis, Fellow, Royal Astronomical Society; Member, American Geophysical Union; Affiliate, New York Academy of Science

"Ms. Murdock is one of only a tiny number of scholars with the richly diverse academic background (and the necessary courage) to adequately address the question of whether Jesus Christ truly existed as a walking-talking figure in first-century Palestine." —David Mills, Atheist Universe

"Thank you, Acharya, for the important work you are doing. Who Was Jesus? Fingerprints of the Christ just might be the best short introduction to Biblical scholarship yet." —David Bergland, 1984 Libertarian Party Presidential Candidate, Libertarianism In One Lesson

"...I have found her scholarship, research, knowledge of the original languages, and creative linkages to be breathtaking and highly stimulating." —Rev. Dr. Jon Burnham, Pastor, Presbyterian Church, Houston, TX

"Acharya S has done a superb job in bringing together the rich panoply of ancient world mythology and culture, and presenting it in a comprehensive and compelling fashion." —Earl Doherty, The Jesus Puzzle

"Acharya S is a shining light of truth in a sea of deceit." —Rob McConnell, X Zone Radio/TV, Ontario, Canada

"The Christ Conspiracy—very, very scholarly and wholly researched—is a book for today..." Rev. B. Strauss, ex-Catholic Priest, Chicago, IL

"Amidst the global chaos of George Bush's War on Terror, largely founded on religious intolerance and simplistic notions of good and evil, Acharya S is the voice of reason." —Joan D'Arc, Paranoia

"D.M. Murdock could well be the most brilliant, insightful and rigorous theologian writing today." —Robert Tulip

"Acharya S is the ranking religious philosopher of our era." —John K.

"Acharya S/Murdock deserves an award for her hard work and courage. She is the Galileo of our day!" —Charles Johnson

"Acharya S knows more about the ancient Mysteries than any living scholar." —Christopher Knowles

"Acharya S is an amazing researcher with a tremendous amount of energy and appetite for constant discovery of newer horizons. " —Dr. O.P. Sudrania

Gospel According to Acharya S

FTN Books

Login Form


Share this Page

| More

We rely on word of mouth to help us grow!

Acharya's Web 2.0

acharya s facebook account
acharya's twitter account
acharya's myspace account

Donate to the Cause!

donations for acharya s

Kindle Ebooks

Jesus as the Sun throughout history

The ZEITGEIST Companion Guide image

man made god by barbara g. walker

2010 Astrotheology calendar

freethought nation animated banner