(Editor's note: We are delighted to welcome the newest Freethought Nation guestwriter, Farhan Qureshi, a brave and thoughtful young man who likes to debate and who has an important voice and experience to be shared in the public arena and supported by all freethinkers.)
Confessions of an ex-Muslim
by Farhan Qureshi
First and foremost, I want to extend my appreciation to Acharya S/D.M. Murdock, who in my view is an outstanding author, researcher and expert in comparative religious studies and mythology. As a former Muslim and former Muslim apologist, comparative religious and philosophical debates have always interested me.
Leaving Islam
After spending so much time, energy, effort, finance, thought and devotion to the religion of Islam, I finally had the courage to admit to myself that this religion is not the ultimate reality behind our existence, and I left the religion altogether. It was certainly a grieving process for me and I’m not so sure that I am over the fact that what I dedicated my life to all those years is not the truth as I thought it was. It's heartbreaking! I still love a lot of things about Islam. I think there are many things beautiful about the Muslim Ummah and the Islamic religion. Yet, there are detrimental, dangerous and delusional aspects to this religion too. I've always been an optimist though, purposely focusing on the positive in things. I think when one focuses on the positive in things, they see beauty in everyone and in everything. Experientially, optimism is an amazing lens to perceive reality from.
My education in Psychology from the University of Maryland and subsequent work in Mental Health guided me in a whole new direction in life. I realized that I was attached to my identity as derived from positive and spiritual experiences with Islam. I realized too that I was a victim of what social psychologists call "confirmation bias," where a person digs themselves deeper and deeper into their preconceived notions. I further realized what indoctrination, attachment, brainwashing and conditioning of the human psyche means, not just theoretically - when I actually observed it in society, it hit me like an epiphany. This state is precisely what confirmation bias looks like! It's what indoctrination does! I saw it for what it was in human behavior. Upon introspection, contemplation, prayer, research, I could no longer hold back, and I publicly announced my apostasy from Islam. I should note that, prior to coming out publicly on Dr. Ali Sina’s Faith Freedom International website, I used to debate theology with Christian missionaries.
Background
Long story short, I was born and raised in the United States to a Pakistani family that followed the Ahmadiyya sect of Islam. The Ahmadiyya believe that their founder, Mirza Ghulam Ahmad of Qadian, India, was a Prophet and Messenger of Allah, the second coming of Jesus, the Imam Mahdi, the Promised Reformer (Mujadid) of Muslims and fulfillment of many other prophecies and labels. Ahmad established a new sect of Islam in 1889 that has since grown and spread throughout the world.
"I found myself amazed and uplifted by a global Muslim culture."
My grandfather was an ordained missionary for this sect of Ahmadiyya Islam and spent 20 years in West Africa spreading its theology. I wanted to follow in his footsteps and become a missionary just like him, but at the age of 17 I went in a different direction and converted to mainstream/orthodox Sunni Islam. At this point, I no longer believed that Mirza Ghulam Ahmad fulfilled any prophecies as he claimed, and I found myself amazed and uplifted by a global Muslim culture. In orthodoxy, I found scholars who had a sound understanding of classical and traditional Islam. I found a multicultural presence instead of a Pakistani-dominated congregation of Ahmadis who I grew up with. Point being, there were many factors or "peripheral routes of persuasion" that guided me to Sunni Islam.
Journey
I spent 10 years as a Sunni Muslim, and during those 10 years, besides worshiping at the mosque and learning Islam directly from different scholars, I also spent a lot of time in daw’ah (invitation) and muanazara (debate) directed at Ahmadis to convert them to Sunni Islam. I debated Ahmadis on topics such as the second coming of Jesus and the finality of Prophethood (mainstream/orthodox Sunni Muslims believe Muhammad was the last Prophet and consider anyone who denies this doctrine a "heretic").
Six years into Sunni Islam, I found out that there was an Ahmadi Muslim whom I'd known who not only converted to Christianity but also decided to become a Christian missionary. It was at this moment that I decided to expand my efforts, and I confronted this former Ahmadi turned Christian missionary, Nabeel Qureshi (no relation), and eventually we would have our first public debate on the deity of Christ.
Looking back, I can see how I was so stuck following and debating theology. Everything I knew was based on theology. So, that was the premise from which I thought and functioned as a human being. Now, as an agnostic, I find myself spiritual and scientific and not religious and theological.
Escaping hellish conditioning
The main reason I left Islam was because of its doctrine of Hell (Jahanam). As a Pakistani American, I experienced diversity and plurality, and fell in love with it! I couldn't possibly believe that all these amazing people deserve to go to Hell. I couldn’t face a person and tell them that unless they believe what I believe that they deserve and will go to Hell, a cruel, fiery, endless torture. Knowing what I knew about human behavior and why each of us behaves the way we do, I couldn’t believe that Hell could possibly be a just retribution. So instead I embraced agnosticism and universalism. I began studying Buddhism and Hinduism and also started to meditate. I refuse to become dogmatic though. I don’t find the need to be an adherent of an organized religion. I think all religions have aspects that are beautiful. They have wisdom and universal truths. But at the same time I find it necessary to confront evils wherever they come from, including evils that arise from religions that posit exclusivity doctrines.
"The main reason I left Islam was because of its doctrine of Hell. As a Pakistani American, I experienced diversity and plurality, and I fell in love with it! I couldn't possibly believe that all these amazing people deserve to go to Hell."
As I say, when I was involved in Islamic apologetics, I had the opportunity to engage several Christian missionaries in public debates, ranging from Dr. James White, David Wood, Sam Shamoun and others. I also had the opportunity to meet and converse quite deeply for a good period of time with Mike Licona (who was critical of Acharya S’s The Christ Conspiracy – I side with Acharya S in reference to their dispute) during my participation at a Christian convention. Since leaving Islam I've continued to periodically engage in public debates, but I think the experience of human interaction is a far more worthy pursuit and is far more superior pursuit.
For more Information on the Journey of Farhan Qureshi, see his Youtube channel.
Further Reading
Farhan Qureshi Renounces Islam
Farhan Qureshi (former Muslim)
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|2012-03-06 18:53:50 Neesa - We need more ex-tunnel vision everythingI am glad to read your story. I felt that way after really searching into several religions. There is something great in all of them, but not to the total exclusion and damnation of all else.
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|2012-03-14 02:02:20 eyad - sarahone leave islam ,,,,,more than 1000 Enters , Islam is the fastest-growing religions in the world,, ask your self sarah Why ? where did juses ...
1-Where Jesus said I am God in the Bible
2-Where Jesus said I am hypostasis second in the Bible
3-If the Holy Spirit is God, how God made Mary pregnant in God
4-Original sin did not say never in the Bible, how Christ crucified and killed for something he did not mention in his speech
think about this ,
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|2012-03-02 23:56:02 tarish kaushik - Hope on the Horizon of Education!Dear Acharya,
Young Farhan is educated, and can critically unbiasedly evaluate faith , belief, and delusions from an eagle eye high perspective.
The crucial word here is EDUCATION. A holistic, wholesome, eclectic EDUCATION.
A warm welcome to one more enlightened young man into the club of modern moderate messiahs.
Ther is hope after all.
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|2012-03-03 15:38:53 Robert Tulip - "confirmation bias"Thank you Farhan. I feel your comment here well expresses why so many people today find religion disturbing.
Superficially, it can seem to be a moral story to hear it preached that the world is divided into good and evil people, and that the good people will go to heaven and the bad people will go to hell. Most people understand that this is just symbolic imagination and is not literally true.
But the fanatics convince themselves that their allegories are literal fact. They use religion to justify their tribal allegiance so they think their friends are good and their enemies are evil. It is dangerous and wrong when people become closed to dialogue, when they preach and do not listen, when they hide behind a psychological barrier that stops them hearing anyone who thinks differently. Their idea of what is a good person becomes distorted by their false belief.
As you say, using modern psychological tools such as analysis of 'confirmation bias' is very helpful to gain a more enlightened understanding of these problems.
Best wishes, Robert
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|2012-03-04 05:59:52 Farhan Qureshi - Thanks guysTha is guys I appreciate your insight alot. Sarah I agree we need brave people to speak up and make a difference. There are alot of people out there depending on us for motivation. Tarish, thank you so much for your words. Eclectic education is absolutely the key to liberation from indoctrination. Robert, good and evil isn't black and white when it comes to human behavior because human behavior is very complicated with a to of factors and circumstances. It's a situation of the idealist vs the realist. The idealist wants the black and white picture of good and evil but realistically it doesn't work that way.
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|2012-03-14 02:11:18 eyad - far7anFarhan You are hilarious worship of man did not say never that God in his Bible as clerks Bibles and I have a question for you,, who wrote the four Gospels, who they are I would love to give me the names of three sections, mean disco Maine disco,, baby we have in Islam, the great modern Narrated by a series of weak, you leave Islam does not mean that the great flaw in Islam, but you are, come to Islam more than 100 people a day in the worlds
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|2012-03-20 07:32:49 RodneyIt is not easy breaking from any religion. Farhan is brave and I salute him. Rigorous thought is the most important thing when confronted by a religion. As Joseph Campbell said "Do not confuse the connotation with the denotation". Understanding psychology is very very important in this regard.
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|2012-03-24 20:22:38 Raj - Buddhism and JainismFarhan - there is another religion too. Jainism. It is an atheistic religion, which has more science in it. Hope some day you find time to study something about Jainism.
As you said, that all religions have something useful in them. I hope from Jainism you find everything useful.
Jainism is the religion which gave the principle of non violence to the world. Gandhiji learnt about the principles of Ahimsa from Jainism.
Good luck in your quest in finding goodness and kindness in humanity.
We always need more ex-muslims to speak out to tell their story. The more ex-muslims who do that will make it easier to provide protection against apostasy too.